You Win A Little, You Lose A Little
by Loveable Bishounen
Summary: To order to please Il Palazzo, Excel and Hyatt decide to make money by going on game shows. Meanwhile, apartment 203 has their own antics. References galore! Updated Edition!


"Hail Il Palazzo!" Excel said in her usual perky fashion; Hyatt said her "…zo" just a moment to late.

"This world is corrupt," Il Palazzo said his famous line. "but in order to purge the ignorant masses, we need the very thing that made them corrupt.

Excel looked at her master and began to speak her mind and ask questions. "Materials? Religion? Television? Rights for the people? Sex?" The young girl blushed and smiled upon saying the last item. She then presumed to sit down on the floor and hug herself, pretending the ever beautiful Lord was in her grasp.

"Money?" Hyatt interrupted with her own comment.

"That is correct Miss Hyatt." Il Palazzo gave praise. "In order to fuel our plans for world domination, we need money. Our already low budget is dangeriously low, down to its hundredth yen, so it will be up to you girls to replenish our finances in a short amount of time."

But Sir…" Hyatt added her comment. "The odds of us being able to achieve a large sum of money in such a brief period of time are even more astronomical as completing any of the tasks that you assign us.

"C'mon Ha-chan." Excel said with a smile on her face and even more hyper as usual. "If this is for Lord Il Palazzo then it must be done. Il Palazzo knows what is good for this world no matter what it takes. We members of ACROSS must not question the great leader but to obey what he wants. Of course I Excel will put herself through whatever hell you bring to us for I love you Lor…" Excel stopped at the drop of a whim and her body fell over.

"Senior Excel?" Hyatt jabbed the now lifeless body of Excel with her index finger; she received no response. "Oh my…" Hyatt sighed. The blue-haired girl began to take off Excel's uniform until the blonde lay in her underwear. Hyatt placed her hand on her back and opened a small, hidden segment of Excel's body. In there lied an overused nine-volt battery. She took out the battery and placed right next to her side. "Oh dear; where am I going to find a replacement at a time like this?" She asked herself.

Suddenly, a rhythmic pound played on a drum came into Hyatt's hearing range. As Hyatt listened to the beat, it began to become louder as she saw the source coming in the distance; it was a little pink bunny wearing sunglasses. It was striking a drum attached to its body with drumsticks attached to both hands. It came closer until it was in front of Hyatt, Then it began to do circles in-front of her. She watched as the bunny made multiple revolutions.

"It keeps going… and going… and going… and going… and goi…" Hyatt had to hold her forehead to make she did not faint. As doing so, she noticed the back of the bunny. "Yes, that'll do." The girl took a step closer to the rotating bunny and as it turned it's back, Hyatt reached forward and took the battery from it's back. The bunny stopped moving with it's hand positioned on the drums.

"The bunny died; it's not moving." Hyatt felt a little sorry for what she did, but it had to be done. She quickly made a couple steps over to Excel's body and got on her knees. She placed the nine-volt in the panel where the old battery was and closed the little body panel.

Almost instantaneously, Excel sprung to her feet and finished her hyperactive remark. But the only reply she received was Il Palazzo clearing his throat. Excel looked around until she noticed she was almost naked. Her eyes lit up at the dirty thought she was thinking. "Oh Lord Il Palazzo… I would gladly obey you secretive service and continue the mission." Just then, Excel reached to the curious object her back.

"Actually no Excel; it was Miss Hyatt who took off you uniform." Il Palazzo speaking the truth.

"Ha-chan!" Excel screamed with a very fearful look on her face. Hyatt replied with a smile, a giggle, and a nod. Just then, the blonde fainted to the ground.

"Maybe the bunny's battery was weak?" Hyatt stated.

"Whatever it may be, it's the fish's problem now." Il Palazzo said as he pulled the magical rope that dropped Excel into the waters below. "Now, do you understand your mission Miss Hyatt?" Hyatt nodded as she exited Il Palazzo's lair.

Excel's body struck the faded blue waters with a loud thud. The impact of the landing woke Excel from her shocked state. Underwater, Excel opened her eyes and saw schools of fish, lots of algae, and her good friend: the electric eel. After a failed attempt to breathe, the blonde swam to surface and took a deep breath. After pulling herself together, she swam to the closest edge. Upon reaching it, Excel pulled herself up. She then stood up straight, turned left, and walked down the path she had many times before. The path was nothing more than a long, narrow tunnel with a small stream of thick, green colored water.

"Why did Ha-chan take my uniform off?" She asked herself as she looked down to see she was still in her underwear. Excel shrugged, knowing it was probably one of those things she would never know. Near the end of the tunnel was another long tunnel, this time heading straight up. Excel grabbed the ladder and climbed to the top. Along the way upwards, some of the green liquid she saw in the tunnel below began to drizzle down on her. She ignored it, considering it happened many times before, and continued her way to the top.

Excel smiled as she reached the top of her climb. At the top was a round, metal plate. She kept her left hand on the ladder and pushed the plate up with her other hand. Excel then placed it on the side and saw sunlight casting down upon her. She lifted herself out of the tunnel and placed the manhole back where it belonged. She looked ahead and saw the back of Hyatt, so Excel ran to catch up with her.

"Ha-chan… wait up!" Excel yelled. Hyatt turned around and saw Excel running towards her.

"Senior Excel, I'm so glad you're okay." Hyatt said with a smile.

Excel, finally catching up with Hyatt, took a quick breath. "Why did you take my uniform off?" The blonde asked the question of the hour.

Hyatt smiled, again. "To revive you." She replied.

"R… Revive!" Excel did not like the tone of that word, but gave it no other thought. The two walked down the sidewalk, back to their apartment. Along the way, Hyatt began to lose her strength.

"Senior Excel… I… feel a… little weak…" Hyatt's spoke her final words before falling asleep on Excel's shoulders. Excel looked at Ha-chan's face to see she died with a smile. Excel was a little freaked-out by this, although she was used to Hyatt's death. She took Hyatt in her arms and carried her back to Room 204.

Not far behind the two girls, Watanabe walked towards the same apartment building. Holding a small bag of groceries, he walked without paying attention.

Suddenly, he felt a sharp pain erupted in his lower area. He almost fell to the ground, but he was slowly able to stand up, all without dropping a single grocery. Watanabe looked down and saw a magical girl in a strange uniform. The girl was wearing a mostly pink covering with a white tutu. She had pink hair and a sparkle in her eye.

"Sorry about that; the name's Kobayashi!" the strange girl said in a hyperactive tone that would rival Excel. Watanabe looked up and saw seven more strange girls behind her. Kobayashi noticed this. "These seven behind me are the Aasu Sisters; I'd like to introduce you to these beauties. Watanabe sat down, not only to dull the pain in his groin, but because he also knew this may take awhile.

"The first of these special maidens…" She said with enthusiasm. "is Hitomi!" Hitomi was nothing but a small child; Watanabe guessed she was only three years old. She was a cute little girl that seemed to love smiling. "Little Hitomi has the power to foresee alien invasions! Ain't she something!" Watanabe signed at that queer information.

Hitomi let out a giggle. "Poemy hit him in the Ca-ca." She said at she pointed to Watanabe. By now, the young man was confused as to what was the name of Kobayashi.

"That's great!" Poemy said in her overly hyper tone. The second Sister is Futaba! She has the ability to turn even the meanest creatures into sweet, loveable ones!" Watanabe saw a little girl, about the same size of Poemy, in a Sailor Uniform. Her cheeks were blushing red as she stood next to Poemy. Futaba then wrapped her arms around the magical girl and pressed her cheeks against hers and began cuddling.

"I love you, Poemy." Futaba turned her head so only Watanabe was able to hear.

"That's great!" Poemy said with oddly perfect timing. "The next sister is Mitsuki." Watanabe noticed she was very sweet looking and cute. "She has the power to run very, very fast, like that roadrunner! Meep meep!" The blue-haired boy was not able to get the reference. "Sister number four is Shii." Watanabe quickly noticed what made her so special: her giant like breasts. She has the power to heal the Earth!"

"So… heavy…" Shii companied as she held up breasts. She rested them on her favorite place, on top of Poemy's head.

"That's great!" Poemy yelled with a little hop. "Sister five is Itsue." Watanabe noticed her as being leather-bounded. Itsue looked at the boy and licked her lips; she then cracked her whip and walked towards Watanabe. "Her power is to protect us with a barrier! Yay!" Itsue grabbed Watanabe and licked his earlobe and gave him a smirk as she dragged him with her.

"What are you doing?" Watanabe was paniced. "Stop this! Let me go!" Itsue denied his request. "Poemy… help me!" Poemy looked straight at Watanabe, smiled and waved. "Uhh… Iwata, you jackass, come help me; Sumiyoshi, help!" No one came to the rescue.

"Hush boy!" Itsue said. "I'm going to fulfill both mine and, hopefully, yours. For the next two hours, I own you." Watanabe let out a whimper, seeing that was the only thing he could do.

"That's great!" Poemy apparently talking to no one. "Sister six is Mutsumi! She speaks with a rough accent and has the ability to fall over perfectly every time! Isn't that useful?" Poemy waited for a reply from the long gone Watanabe. Just then, Futaba tapped her on the shoulder and whispered that Watanabe left. "Oh well. Aasu Sisters, forward!" The six remaining sisters began to walk, with Futaba and Poemy holding hands.

Back at the apartment, Excel carefully placed Hyatt on the couch and went into the kitchen to make some tea. There, she was greeted by her loveable Chow Chow, Menchi. He let out a little arf, but Excel ignored her. After a few minutes, the tea was ready, so she returned to the living room. There she saw Hyatt sitting-up watch a nine-inch television Excel bought with some funds she found. Hyatt turned her head and greeted the blonde with a smile.

"Good late afternoon Senior Excel." She said. Excel walked over to the couch, handed Hyatt a cup filled with hot tea, and sat down next to her.

"Say Ha-chan, how do you suppose we will complete the beautiful Il Palazzo's mission?" The blonde asked with taking her eyes off the television.

"I am not sure, Senior Excel." Hyatt apathetically responded, not taking her eyes off the boob tube. "Maybe the answer will just come to us." Excel and Hyatt continued to stare in the TV.

"It you would like to be a contestant on Quiz De Pon…" Spoketh thy wise television. "…please come on down to Nishi Nippon Corporation studios. C'mon, don't be shy; we need you. Don't you want to win a million yen? Of course you do! So, come on down here and improve our ratings!"

"Say, Senior Excel…" Hyatt said, having the obvious on her mind. "Why don't we try out for that game show?"

Excel's face turned frightening. "Ha-chan! Do you realize what you're saying? How would we even be able to compete against other contestants? Besides, Excel doesn't like the fact of Excel being on TV."

"But Senior Excel…" Hyatt added. "…we are two intelligent people, and with that, we may be able to win. Plus, it would please Lord Il Palazzo greatly."

Excel's irises turned into hearts. "Lord Il Palazzo…" Excel sighed with pleasure and snapped out of her trance. "Okay Ha-chan! We'll go down tomorrow!" Hyatt smiled and nodded her head.

Next door, Iwata, Sumiyoshi, and Matsuya sat on their knees around a table. Due to an unfortunate roach invasion at Matsuya's house, she had to with the three males for a couple of days. Thus, Watanabe had to go out and buy more food, to add to the amount of none, with the money provided by Matsuya herself.

"Man, where's Watanabe?" Iwata asked in his always rude manner. "I'm hungry…"

"_Patience young one_." Sumiyoshi stated.

"Young?" Iwata spurted. "I'm older than you!'

"_Poor Iwata, high tempered and dull as ever_." Sumiyoshi noted.

Iwata gruffed his voice. "Watanabe is going to pay for making us wait."

Meanwhile, Watanabe was going through hell and back.

"Stop crying you baby!" Itsue yelled as she cracked her whip amongst the boy's back. "Enjoy what momma's giving you!" Watanabe let out a few more tears. Itsue really was not impressed with Watanabe's sportsmanship. Itsue caressed the leather on her chest and cracked her whip again along the boy's back. "You're my bitch!"

"I'm your bitch." Watanabe muddled in gaps against his tears.

"Louder!" Itsue yelled with passion and she whipped him again and rubbed her crouch.

"I'm your bitch!" Watanabe summoned up all the energy he had and said it at the top of his lungs. Itsue smirked and whipped the boy yet again.

"I'm going to kill him when he finally returns." Iwata adding his comment yet again, providing the boy was not dead by then.

Just then, Sumiyoshi got up and took a couple of steps to the 'kitchen' that lied in the corner. He opened the few cabinets randomly in hopes of finding something. Luckily, Sumi was able to find an old package of ramen noodles. He took the package and walked over to the sink. A metal pot was sitting in the sink, so Sumi filled that pot with water and carried to the little burner that stood on the table. He lit the burner, opened the package of noodles, and emptied the package into the water. Iwata noticed that the block of noodles looked crusty and appeared something was growing from them.

"I am not eating that!" Iwata showing that pride was greater than hunger.

"_If you hungry, you will_." Sumiyoshi noted with a harsh, stern look on his face. Iwata bowed his head in shame, knowing Sumiyoshi was right. When the noodles were soft enough, Sumi turned off the burner and added some seasoning. He stirred it around, and gave an equally sall portion to everyone. Iwata noticed some green stuff stuck to most of the noodles; Iwata heard his stomach growl, so he took a deep breath, and shoved the noodles and broth into his mouth. He chewed as fast as he could and swallowed it. Iwata stood on his knees and expected a pat, for being a good boy and making all gone; but he forgot one thing, the noodles just came off the burner. Iwata jumped to his feet and ran to the sink, trying to gasp for air. He placed his lips on the dirty faucet and turned on the cold water. Iwata gulped the water as it flowed into his mouth.

"Idiot." "_Idiot_." Both Matsuya and Sumiyoshi noted at the same time.

After the meager dinner, the three decided to go to bed early. Iwata and Sumiyoshi decided to sleep on one side if the apartment and have Matsuya sleep on another side. The three got themselves into their futons and relaxed. A couple of minutes later, Iwata had a smirk on his face and got of bed. He walked over to Matsuya's side the apartment. The boy kneeled down in front of where she slept and smiled. Matsuya was not under the cover, but just lying on top of it in a nightie. Iwata thought she looked so cute when she slept, and he began to blush.

Suddenly, Iwata notice his right hand was walking along the floor and over to the sleeping Matsuya. He grabbed the walking hand with his left and bought it up to his face. She then smacked it with his left hand. "No! Bad Hand! No! Don't you do that again! Bad Hand!" Iwata punishing his right hand sternly, yet silently. Iwata took his attention back towards Matsuya and blushed and smiled again. The right hand tried again to touch Matsuya, and almost accomplished it, but was stopped by the left again. Iwata gave it another slap. "What did I just tell you? Bad Hand! Very bad Hand!" You should be ashamed of yourself!" Just then Matsuya left out a quiet moan. The boy gave a big smile and continued to watch. Iwata felt his hand moving again, but this time on his leg, so he did not mind. He then noticed the hand was on his crouch. It bean to caress it, and Iwata enjoyed it, but he once again grabbed his hand with his left. "Bad Hand! Bad Hand! Such dirty thoughts!" … "Good thinking!" Iwata let out a smile. "But Bad Hand!" Matsuya let out a considerably louder moan, and Iwata brought is attention back on to her. This time, he noticed his left hand was rubbing his crouch, but instead of removing it, he let the hand do its job. The right hand 'looked' back and forth between the left hand and Iwata's face. By now, the right hand was very jealous and Iwata was on his way, so in vengeance, the right sprung forward and grabbed something that was stiff, yet soft. This thing was Matsuya's left breast. Matsuya opened her eyes to showed them bloodshot, and saw Iwata with his right hand on her and his left hand on him. Iwata had a freeze-frame thought.

"Oh dear Buddha, God, Brahman, Vishnu, Shiva, Zeus, Jupiter, Izangai, Nicholas of Myra…" Iwata pleaded. "If you let me to survive this, I'll become more good nature; I'll be jollier toward others; I'll donate money to the church. I'll spread the word of you to others…" The freeze-frame thought was over.

Matsuya grabbed Iwata by the shirt and punched him a couple of times. When blood began to drain from his mouth, Matsuya lifted him up and kneed him in the crouch. Iwata let out a sharp scream, but Matsuya rammed his had into a wall. After the wall was painted red, Matsuya grabbed Iwata and threw him into the wall with such strength, that his head appeared in Room 204.

Iwata opened his eyes after and crash and saw Excel and Hyatt undressing. The two girls turned around and went up to him, in nothing but their underwear. Iwata, as happy as anything, began to have a nosebleed. Hyatt noticed this, leaned in, and paid closer attention to Iwata's nose.

"Senior, it appears that Mister Iwata has been picking at his nose too often." Hyatt made her observation. Iwata smiled as he saw the opportunity to rub his head against Miss Ayasugi's breasts.

"Whatever it may be, Ha-chan," Excel said with her energy. "He's going back next door!" Excel walked up to Iwata and placed both her hands on her forehead and pushed in.

Iwata panicked. "Please Miss Dosukoi! Don't return me to that horrible land!' Excel ignored his request and pushed him back into his apartment. Within a second later, Iwata reappeared in their apartment wall, this time in a different spot. Excel walked up to the newly position Iwata and pushed him back to his side.

"This is girls' time, no boys allowed!" Excel told the boy. Within another second, Iwata appeared again. Hyatt clapped her hands and giggled, because she enjoyed how Iwata was like a spring. Excel saw this, smiled, and pushed Iwata back into the wall. Without a doubt, he appeared again; Excel pushed him back in, and Hyatt giggled and clapped. Until, around the seventh or eighth time, Iwata got stuck in the wall. Both Hyatt and Excel had to push him back, but to no avail. Matsuya, believing she proved her point, went back to her futon and laid down.

Just then, the door of Room 203 opened and it was none other than Watanabe. He had many scars and bruises showing all over his entire body. Anyone could see this, since Itsue only gave him back his boxers. Being the strong-willed boy he was, he made it back to the apartment, and even had the groceries in his hand. Watanabe shut the door, dropped the food, and walked over to the first futon he saw, Matsuya's. He dropped himself right on the padding, only to feel there was someone else on it; and it just so happened that Watanabe's chin was right between Matsuya's breasts. Matsuya opened her bloodshot eyes yet again and threw Watanabe into the wall. There, he met the stuck Iwata.

"Where the hell were you?" Iwata asked the battered Watanabe.

"A… A dominatrix had her fun with me…" Watanabe sprung a tear from his eye.

"Oh…" Iwata bowed his head. "Is the food okay?" Watanabe face turned to anger and he wanted to punch Iwata, but alas he could not.

All the while, Sumiyoshi laid in his futon untouched. "_Why can't those two enjoy the gift of fantasy_?" He stated as he took out a hentai magazine.

Sunlight soon glared through the window of Room 204. Excel slowly opened her eyes and gave them a quick rub. She turned to her left to see that Hyatt was not covered in blood, but instead had her arms wrapped around Excel and smiling. "Excel thinks that Ha-chan needs somebody, quick!" Excel's brain told Excel. She carefully released herself from Hyatt's grasp and stood-up. The blonde walked over to the bathroom, along the way, passing the sleeping Iwata and Watanabe. In the bathroom, Excel did her business, and went to her drawer to get dressed. She wanted to look nice for her interview, but the only thing nice she had was her ACROSS uniform. Excel changed into that uniform, and went back to the futon to wake Hyatt.

"Ha-chan…" Excel said with a smile. "Ha-chan…" Excel tapped her on the shoulder. "Ha-chan…" Excel poked a little harder. "Ha-chan!" Excel yelled into her ear. Slowly, Hyatt opened her eyes and saw the smiling Excel in her view. Hyatt smiled back and stood out of bed. She then followed Excel's routine of going to the bathroom then going to the drawer and wearing her nicest thing, which was her uniform. With both girls dressed, and Iwata and Watanabe missing the peep show, Excel walked over to the door.

"Wait, Senior Excel!" Hyatt grabbed hold of the blonde's attention. "Shouldn't we have breakfast first?"

"We should…" Excel replied. "But we don't have the food or money!" She said with unneeded energy. With that said, the two exited, and left the two boys all alone. Next door, Sumiyoshi was just waking up. He slowly lifted himself out of his futon and looked around the room. He noticed his two roommates stuck in the wall, and Matsuya sitting on her futon wide-awake. Sumi then noticed the brown paper bag Watanabe bought in last night, so big Sumi crawled over to the bag and opened it. Matsuya heard the crinkling of the bag and looked towards Sumi.

"So, what did Watanabe buy?" Matsuya asked.

"_Let's see… leather, whips, lotions, condoms, vodka, and a pair of underpants that says 'Itsue'_…" Matsuya, not pleased by this, walked up to Watanabe's back, and kicked him right in his behind. The pain of the impact woke Watanabe.

"What's the deal with you buying leather, whips, and all that stuff?" Matsuya asked, giving Watanabe another swift kick.

Watanabe realized that Itsue gave him the wrong bag, at least by his point of view. "It's the dominatrix's fault." Watanabe said with a tear of pain rolling down his cheek.

"Dominatrix?" Matsuya said with disbelief. "I'll show you dominatrix!" Matsuya then resumed having a field day on Watanabe's behind.

Meanwhile, Excel and Hyatt were approaching the Nishi Nippon Corporation studios.

"Senior Excel, what is you're plan for the game show?" Hyatt asked.

"Simple Ha-chan! Excel would answer some questions and Ha-chan will answer most." Hyatt nodded her head in agree. The two continued walking until they were in front of Nishi Nippon Corporation studios. Hyatt began to feel weak and she fell over on Excel's side. Excel grabbed Hyatt and quickly looked around her; since she had no time to let her rest some place, Excel threw her behind the bushes next to her and walked inside. Inside the building, a young girl asked Excel for her purpose being here today.

"I'm here to try out for Quiz De Pon!" Excel yelled with a smile.

"Down the hall and to left." The apathetic girl said. Excel followed the perfect instructions and finally found her way to the studio of Quiz De Pon, with only getting lost twice. Yay Excel! Se entered the studio and was greeted by a young boy, who seemed to be the host's assistant. Excel told him she would like to try out for the show and was suddenly greeted by the host.

"You want to be on the show? Great!" The host smiled as he said it. "But where is your partner? Quiz De Pon requires two people on a team."

"Uhh… My partner is resting outside the building." Excel answering truthfully and her beautiful smile.

"Okay then. Just answer an easy question and you can be on the show." The host tried to think of an easy question, because he was simply short a team. "Okay Miss…"

"My name's Exc…" Excel stopped, not wanting to reveal her code name. "Hanako Dosukoi and my partner is Chihaya Ayasugi."

"Okay Miss Dosukoi, what do you get if you multiply six by nine?" The host asked. Excel thought for a second while she counted on her fingers. Then two seconds… then four seconds… then eight seconds… then sixteen seconds. The assistant came close to the host and turned his head.

"Uhh… Are you sure you want on the show?" He asked in a low voice.

"Of course!" The host responded in the same low voice. "She the type of person who would bring in rating with her style; besides, many teams have one smarter person and one not as smart.

The assistant looked towards Dosukoi, who was already at sixty-four seconds. "Smart? Her friend has to be damn near Steven Hawking to balance the intelligence." Suddenly Excel figured out the answer.

"Forty-two!" She spurted as she hopped up and down and giggled.

The assistant dropped his jaw, but the host smiled. "Congratulations, Miss Dosukoi." The host said. "Now, if you can get your teammate in here, you'll be ready to go on the after. The show starts in ten minutes." Excel ran out of the studio and out of the building. She went over to the spot where she threw Hyatt and forced her to wake up. After a little bit of trying, Ha-chan opened her eyes and smiled.

"Yay!' Excel giggled "C'mon, let's go win some money." Excel grabbed Hyatt by the hand and they ran off. After they entered the studio, the janitor came out of the building to water the lilies. The two ran into the studio and was greeted by the host again.

"Greetings Miss Dosukoi and Miss Ayasugi." The host bowed his head. "Please go over there." The host pointed to the left. "There, we'll give you a quick touch-up and you'll be ready to be on air." The two girls followed the host's advice. While Excel was getting prepared, she felt her little heart beat quicker than usual. After Excel's and Hyatt's touch-up, a little blue creature escorted them to the please where they will during most of the show. Hyatt looked at this creature a little closer and thought it looked familiar. She remembered playing a game that had this creature on a machine Excel brought not too long ago. Hyatt could only remember part of the title; '…Hedgehog', but she shrugged it off and followed him; he looked like he needed work. The three reached a small booth where Excel and Hyatt would sit. After doing so, they looked to their left and saw three more sets of couples in the dull light. Suddenly, the lights became bright and the blue creature rush on stage. He stopped in the middle and began to speak.

"It's time to play… QUIZ DE PON!" The creature screamed before he rushed off the other end of the stage. An audience of clapping erupted from behind where Excel and Hyatt were sitting. The host walked on stage, and the audience erupted even louder in applause.

"Welcome to Quiz De Pon." Spoke the host. "Today we have four teams going against each other for the million yen grand prize. Let's meet our teams. "Team number one is Shuichi Shindo and Hiroshi Nakano." Shuichi Shindo was a pretty pink-haired boy who had a big smile on his face, and Hiroshi was a handsome black-haired boy who was holding Shuichi's hand. "Team two are out-of-towners from a place called… Japoness? Let's meet Otaru Mamiya and Lime." Otaru was a brown-haired boy who was wearing a serious face, and Lime was a happy-go-lucky girl who held Otaru's arm.

"Hao!" Lime said playfully as she held up her right hand.

"Hao!" The entire audience, the contestants, the host, and creature, and even Excel and Hyatt replied in unison, for some strange reason.

The host let out a small laugh. "Team three is Pedro Domingo and Nabeshin." Nothing new here; Pedro's sexy wife was sitting in the audience and Nabeshin still had his afro. "And finally, team four is Hanako Dosukoi and Chihaya Ayasugi." The two girls smiled and waved towards the camera. "Now that we met our contestants, here are the rules: For round one, I will ask alternating questions and the first team to buzz in and get it correct get the points. For the second and final round: One member from each team will be chosen to run on a treadmill. I will ask alternating questions and the first member to run enough to light the light bulb on the treadmill gets to answer the question. The team with the highest score at the end of the game wins the million yen grand prize. Ready teams? Here's the first question."

A strange picture appeared on a large screen behind the host. "What does this picture mean? Here's a clue: if it hits, it hurts." The four teams looked at the picture. Suddenly, Shuichi from team one buzzed in. "That was fast…"

"Excuse me." Shuichi began. "But we don't need the million yen prize; instead we would like to perform on your show if we win." The audience went nuts upon hearing this. The host, surprised by this turn of event, listened to his ear piece.

"Let 'em play." A voice came from the ear piece.

"It's official!' The host blared with a smile. "If team one wins, they will perform for us in place of the million yen."

"Damn." Excel muddled under her breath. "If this show wants ratings, that stunt would probably give it to them." Excel turned her head to see Hyatt smiling and clapping, so she gently grabbed her by the shirt. "Ha-chan, we must not let them win. I know you would like to see the performance, but let us not forget Lord Il Palazzo and the mission." Hyatt bowed her head and smiled.

"But…" The host started, "we need an answer Shuichi."

The pretty-boy thought for a second. "A rock?" The audience booed.

"I'm sorry Shuichi, that's incorrect" Pedro pressed the buzzer soon after. "Yes, team three, what is your answer?"

"A running bull." Pedro answered.

"That is correct!" Said the host as the audience applauded. "Question two: Where would you find a periosteum?

Hiroshi, who at one time wanted to be a doctor, buzzed in. "On your bones."

"Correct." The audience light cheered. "Question three: What famous Tokyo hotel…" Just then, Excel began to daydream. She closed her eyes and thought about the one she loved while repeating under her breath 'I love you Lord Il Palazzo'. Excel, however, lost control of herself and slipped on the buzzer.

"Team four, you rung in a little early. What is your answer?"

"I love you Lord Il Palazzo." Miss Dosukoi said while still in her daydream.

"I don't know about the first part, but Il Palazzo is correct." The audience's cheer woke Excel. After she discovered she had the correct answer, she smiled towards the camera and placed her hand behind her neck.

"Question four: Name the English method of using one's finger to indicate the direction of electrical forces within magnetic fields."

Hiroshi buzzed in. "Fleming's Law." The audience applauded, by order of a pretty little sign that lit.

"Correct!" "Next question… What is the full name of the Latin poet Virgil?" All four teams stood their brain-dead. A brave Ayasugi decided to give it a shot.

"Publius Vergillus Maro?" The host and Excel stared at Miss Ayasugi with their jaw dropped. The audience then gave a loud cheer.

"That is correct!" The host stated with Excel looking stupid with her jaw still dropped.

"Question six. Pocky sticks used to contain ten sticks per bag, four sticks per box. Now they contain five bags of ten sticks. What is the percentage of increase?"

Lime was the first to ring in, even ahead of Otaru. "Ten percent!" She smiled and giggled upon saying that.

"Sorry. That is incorrect." Lime's head hung in shame. Otaru wrapped his arm around her shoulder.

"It's okay." Otaru said with a smile on his face, even though he knew the answer. Lime hopped up and giggled.

"I love you Otaru!" Lime said her usual catch phrase while she went to hug her master.

Nabeshin decided to give it a shot. "Twenty percent?"

"I'm sorry; that too is incorrect." The entire audience awed for both Lime and Otaru's affection and Nabeshin's incorrect answer.

Excel wanted to join in on the fun and buzzed in. The host had a feeling she would not get this right. "Five thousand…"

"Sorry, but that is incorrect." The host interrupted.

Hiroshi, knowing the answer, finally was able to ring in. "Twenty-five percent."

"Yes! That is actually correct." The audience applauded and let out a huge whoop, Curly style.

Question seven… What leader was Iosif Vissarionovich Dzhugashvili better known as?"

Nabeshin rung in after a couple of seconds. "That's Stalin baby! So quit stalling and move on to the treadmills.

"With time, and you are correct." "Next question… Who is the author of 'Shiosai' and 'Yukoku'?"

Hiroshi buzzed in. "Yukio Mishima." The audience cheered, by orders of the little sign.

"Correct!" "Number nine…

Hyatt rang in. "Raphael Sanzio."

"Correct!" Suddenly, a loud bell rang from off-stage. "Time is up for this round, let's check the scores. Team one is in first with 20,000 points. Team four is close behind with 15,000 points. Team three is in third with 10,000 points. And team two is in last with nothing. Now, it is time for the treadmills, each team will choose a member to run." Each team thought for a second. "Team one has chosen Shuichi Shindo; team two has chosen Otaru Mamiya; team three has chosen Nabeshin; team for has chosen Hanako Dosukoi. The four of you, get into positions." Everyone did so. "You know the rules; first one to light up the light bulb gets to answer the question."

"Question one. In English they refer to dogs as dogs; what is a cat called?" Everyone ran as fast as they could. Shuichi was the first one able to light the bulb.

"Team one, what is you answer?"

"Dog!" Hiroshi slapped his forehead and the audience booed.

"I'm sorry, Shuichi." The host smirked under his breath. "Team two; you were the second to light the bulb, what is your answer?"

"Cat?" Otaru responded. The audience obeyed the sign and applauded.

"Correct! And team two gets into the game." Next question… what is the equation 2c over negative b plus or minus the square root of b squared minus 4ac?" Everyone started to run, even though no one was sure of the answer. Excel lit the bulb first, then Shuichi, then Otaru, then Nabeshin.

"Uhh… sum?" "Sorry Miss Dosukoi."

"The tax equation!" Shuichi had no clue what he was talking about. "Sorry."

"The Quadratic equation?' "Sorry Otaru, close, but I can't accept it.

"The equation of complex interest?" "I'm sorry Nabeshin." The audience awed. "The answer was the quadratic formula."

"Next question, in sports, what was the first U.S.A Olympic basketball team called?" Everyone ran again, that is, except for Shuichi. Excel lit the pretty light first.

"The Dream Team!" Hanako Dosukoi was proud that she knew that.

"Correct!" A quiet bell rang from off stage. "It's time for our final question, which is worth double the points. Team one, three, and four have a chance to participate. I'm sorry team two, but you cannot participate.

"Here's the final question… With a delicate sensibility and clarity of vision, this author specializes in power love stories. He was the winner of last year's Naoki award from 'Cool' magazine! This famous young author is also quite a killer with the ladies. Who is this hot young novelist?" Nabeshin and Dosukoi began to run, but with a sudden urge of passion, Shuichi began at top speed and left the other two in the dust; so much that when his light lit, Shuichi did not stop running. In fact, he powered the bulb so much that it exploded, along with Otaru's, Nabeshin's and Dosukoi's. Even the commanding sign above the audience burst.

"We're free!" Yelled a member of the audience; everyone presumed to jump out their seats.

"But I want to see what happens…" The member said as he sat down, along with the rest of the audience.

"Shuichi, you better know his, because we don't know who would go next if you're wrong.

"Eiri Yuki!" The entire audience applauded, without the need of the sign.

"Correct! And with 30,000 points, team one is the grand prize winner! And, as we promised, you can perform on air."

Everyone in the studio applauded, except Excel. Irritated, Excel grabbed the applauding Hyatt and took her off stage, then left the studio. Outside the studio, Excel released her grasp and sighed. "We have failed you Lord Il Palazzo.' She said with a tear coming to her eye. "How will we find the money now?"

"Well Senior Excel… there is a pretty good chance there are more game shows in this building. Perhaps we should look for them." Hyatt said, wanting to comfort Excel.

A smile came to Excel's lips and Hyatt smiled back, with a little blush. "You're right Ha-chan! Let's look for those games!" Excel grabbed Hyatt and ran off, opening random she came by. After six rooms, and ruining three shots, Excel came by a game show, at least she thought.

A large orange set lied in Excel's view. Excel and Hyatt walked closer to the set, but were stop by a man in a brown suit.

"Are you the missing contestant that is supposed to be here by now?" The man asked in an angry tone of voice.

Excel, lying to the man, nodded her head. The man grabbed her by the arm to show his fury and sat her down in a seat in the orange stage. Hyatt made her way to the studio audience and took a seat in the front row. Excel lied back in the seat, waiting for something to happen. Suddenly, music appeared out of nowhere and a person began to speak.

"It's time to match the stars!" The person said with an omni-tonical voice. "McLean Stevenson, Brett Somers, Charles Nelson Reilly, Fannie Mae, Richard Dawson, and Betty White; as we play the star-studded Match Game '05. And here's the star of Match Game '05, Gene Rayburn!" The theme music continued to play as a well-dressed man appeared on the set. Excel, though, was enjoying the theme music to much to notice. Gene walked up to the stars sitting in two tiers; an upper tier, and a lower tier. After making small talk with the stars, the host walked over to the contestants, but saw Excel almost dancing in her seat. The music stopped and Excel returned to reality.

"Hello contestants and stars. Contest one, Kasumi Mukanaka; tell us a little something about yourself." Excel felt strange upon hearing that name, although she never saw the girl sitting to the right of her.

"Well, I come from Fukuoka. I am an animal lover; I especially love dogs. I seemingly have a habit of thinking out loud, and I'm trying to win the affection of the man I love." Miss Mukanaka stated. The audience clapped and cheered after hearing the last item Miss Mukanaka said.

"Well, I hope you win the man you love." "Our next contestant is Miss… uhh…"

"Dosukoi. I too come from Fukuoka. I have a Chow Chow at my apartment. I have a habit of being extremely hyperactive, and I also am fighting for the affection of the man I love. The audience cheered and applauded again.

'Wow, you two are very similar, and pretty as well." The two girls smiled. "Miss Mukanaka, you have the choice of A or B.

"A, please" Miss Mukanaka said.

"Very well." "Did you hear about that new band that all these kids love? They are rich upon your wildest dreams despite their name being blank." A very small chuckle came from the audience. The stars presumed to write down an answer that would fill in the blank, and hopefully match Miss Mukanaka. The stars all finished writing down their answer and ring went off through the studio. The host then walked up to Miss Mukanaka.

"Okay, all the stars have finished, and it's your job to match them. Did you hear about that new band that all these kids love? They are rich upon your wildest dreams despite their name being blank."

"The only thing I can think of is bad luck." The audience booed the response.

"Bad luck? You ma'am may have bad luck. Well let's see what the stars said. McLean, what did you have?" He held up a card tat read Old Dirty Bastards. The audience laughed. "Old Dirty Bastards… pretty good, but it's not a match. Brett, what did you have?"

"Well dear." Brett began. "I figure if it happened once, it can happen again. I said the Beverly Hillbillies."

"That wasn't that bad. Charles?"

"Bad luck." A ding went off and the audience half-applauded, half-booed.

"Well, it was at least a match. Miss Mae, what it you have?" She held up a card that said bad luck." The audience cheered a little. "There's a match. Richard?"

"Old Dirty Bastards." Richard said.

"Well, that got two. Miss White, what was your response?"

"I didn't seem to understand the question fully, and I just said the three stupidest guys I can think of. Larry, Curly, and Moe; the three stooges. The audience let out a little chuckle.

"Well, no one seemed to have a great answer; in my opinion it was a bad question. Miss Dosukoi, let's see if you can do any better." "Mimiru said 'I just got back with my date with Vincent the vampire. It was great; he was kind, sweet, loving, and energetic.' She said, hiding the blood stains on her on her blank." The audience laughed. All six stars wrote down a response and a ding was soon heard. "Miss Dosukoi, 'Mimiru said 'I just got back with my date with Vincent the vampire. It was great; he was kind, sweet, loving, and energetic.' She said, hiding the blood stains on her on her blank.'"

Excel giggled the slightest bit. "Panty." The audience mimicked that giggle, and raised her laugh.

"Panty was her response. McLean, what did you said?"

"Well Gene… many things went through my mind, but I want the judge to thin carefully about this answer, bra." The judge thought and declined and buzzed while the audience laughed. "They're both types of underwear." McLean defended his answer.

"I'm sorry McLean, but the judge can't match it. Brett, what do you have?" She held up a sign that said neck. The audience cheered thinking that was the definite answer. "Charles?"

"They had a toast to the nape of her neck." A buzz soon followed.

"Nope." replied Gene. "Fannie, did you have panty?"

"Sorry dear, but I had top."

"That's okay, top works just fine. Richard?" He held up a sign that said panty. The judge rung the answer and the audience clapped. "Good, a match. Betty, did you match?"

"Nope!" Betty held up a sign that read neck.

"So at the end of round one, Miss Mukanaka has two matches, and Miss Dosukoi has one. The new rules state that the player that's behind must go first. Would you like A or B, Miss Dosukoi?"

"A, please."

"Fat Freya is so fat…" The echo of 'how fat is she?' came from the audience and stars. "When she saw a man eating a bucket of chicken, Freya walked up to him and said 'I love you blank.'" The audience laughed while the stars wrote their answer and a ring was heard. Now it was Miss Dosukoi's turn to answer. "Fat Freya is so fat, when she saw a man eating a bucket of chicken, Freya walked up to him and said 'I love you blank.'"

Excel sprung out of seat and raised her right arm. "I love you Lord Il Palazzo!" The audience half-laughed and half-booed. Miss Mukanaka stared at Miss Dosukoi with an unbelievable face. Excel was confused and shook her head between the camera and the audience. Mr. Rayburn walked up to Miss Dosukoi and stuck out his hand.

"It's been a nice time having you on the show; I hope you enjoyed it as much as we did. We'll miss you." Excel looked a little confused. "There is no chance in hell anyone said a hotel. Talk about rotten answers. McLean what did you have." Excel hung her head in shame.

"Why Colonel Sanders, of course." The audience cheered and applauded beyond belief. "They may go to the Il Palazzo later and enjoy the chicken together, though." The audience laughed.

Gene looked at Miss Dosukoi and noted that she looked downed. "Hmm… let's end this in one swift blow, everyone, what did you have?" The four remaining stars held up their cards; all of them said Mr. Sanders. "Well Miss Mukanaka won with two matches, come on up here." Miss Mukanaka got out of her seat and stood next to Gene. "It's been a pleasure having you on the show, Miss Dosukoi, but you have to go back stage now. Good-bye." The stage where Excel was sitting began to rotate. She held up her arms and cheered as she was being moved. When the machine stopped, she got out of her seat, grabbed Hyatt from the audience, and left the studio.

Once again, Excel found it necessary to open random doors, hoping to find a game show. Soon enough, she found a set that looked like it could resemble a game show. She walked up to a man working on the lights.

"Excuse me, but is this a game show?" Excel asked.

"Sure is." Replied the man. "Who wants to win a hundred-million yen?" Excel's lights lit up; her left iris was a yen symbol, while her right iris was a heart.

"If Lord Il Palazzo would love us with one million yen, then Lord Il Palazzo would love me with one-hundred million yen!" Excel said to herself. "Even if I didn't do the work..." She said louder. "Ha-chan, you're good with trivia, you can be on the show." Hyatt nodded her head as Excel went to look for the host. "Mr.Host?" Excel yelled, annoying the others.

"Yes?" A tall, lean looking man replied. "What do you want?"

"Are you the host?" Excel asked the man. The man nodded. "We would like to be on the show." She said as she pointed at Hyatt.

"Sure thing." The man responded with a smile. "Not too many people want to be on games now-a-days, but only one of you can be one the show…"

"She will!" Excel quickly said as she pointed towards Hyatt.

"Very well. Please, have a seat in the seat up there." The host pointed to the fourth seat from the left in the first row. "I'll get her ready for the show." The host walked over to Hyatt. "Are you to be on the show Miss…"

Hyatt nodded her head. "Ayasugi." She said.

"Okay, get into that seat in the middle of the studio; we should be starting any second." Hyatt followed his instruction and sat in the seat. The host followed her and got into the seat across from her. Suddenly, theme music came on and the cameras began to film. "Welcome to, 'Who Wants A Hundred-Million Yen?' I'm your host 'The Unoriginal Japanese Equivalent of Regis Philman… Legis Philman'" A large sweat drop appeared on Excel forehead. "This is our first contestant, Miss Ayasugi. Hello." Hyatt bowed her head. "Where did you come from Miss Ayasugi?"

"Down the hall, where 'Quiz De Pon' and 'Match Game' were being taped." Miss Ayasugi said, missing the point of the question.

"That's nice. Here to try you're luck again." The host said with a save. "Who did you being with you today?" The camera pointed toward Excel who smiled and waved at it.

"That's Miss Dosukoi, my life partner." Hyatt answered. Then entire audience did some strange, unexplainable action while a man off stage rubbed his chin.

"Wow… that's… here's the ten-thousand yen question…" "What sound does a cat make? A. Mew, B. Arf, C. Oink, D. Meow mix meow mix?"

Miss Ayasugi thought for a second. "A. Mew, final answer."

"Of course! Mew goes the kitty." "For twenty-thousand yen… What does six times nine equal? A. 69, B. 42, C. 54, D. The answer to the universe?"

Miss Ayasugi thought for less than a second. "C. 54, final answer."

"Got it!" Excel was shocked by this new piece of information. "For thirty-thousand yen… Which of the following is a noun? A. All, B. Your, C. Base, D. Are?

Miss Ayasugi thought for a second. "C. Base, final answer."

"Belong to you! Got it right." "For fifty-thousand yen… What does the symbol '$' stand for? A. An American dollar amount, B. An English S, C. Up-size it, D. A religious mark?

Miss Ayasugi thought for a second, but could not come up with the answer. "I'd like to ask the audience."

"Sure, audience, using the key-pad, press A, B, C, or D, now!" The audience made their vote, with Excel pressing all four keys at once. Suddenly, the results appeared on screen. "Ouch! Twenty-five percent straight down the line. I think someone may have messed with the controls, but we can't do anything about it. This would be a good time to call somebody using phone-a-friend, but you didn't list anyone who we could call."

"I'll like to use the 50:50 please." Miss Ayasugi said.

"Sure, computer, take away two wrong answers, leaving her with one wrong answer and the correct one. Let's see, A. An American dollar amount, and D. A religious mark."

Miss Ayasugi thought for a second. "D. A religious mark, final answer."

"I'm sorry, Miss Ayasugi, it was an American dollar amount." Hyatt held her head in shame. "Oh well, I hope you enjoyed yourself, but you lose, you get nothing!" Hyatt nodded her head in conformation and left the studio, with Excel following right behind her.

Meanwhile back at Room 203, Matsuya and Sumiyoshi were trying to pull Watanabe out of the wall. After a few unsuccessful attempts, they were finally able to pull him out. After doing so, it was time to get Iwata out. The three pulled, and pulled, and pulled, until a few trying led them to success. The four took a long look at the wall.

"The landlord's going to kill us." Watanabe stated.

"Yep." Matsuya stated.

"_Yep._" Sumi added.

Iwata noticed his right hand moving towards Matsuya. He forced it back and smacked it. "No!" Everyone looked in Iwata's direction. The only thing the boy could do was smile and hold up the peace sign.

Back at the studios, Excel and Hyatt were pretty much finished trying to look for a game show, when a man appeared in front of the two.

"I have a perfect game you two can play." The man said.

"No thanks, we're through for the day." Excel replied.

"Nonsense, besides, you don't need any book knowledge for this show, and the two of you will be on it." The man replied back.

"Well… okay!" Excel cheered in a hyperactive tone.

"Great, just follow me." The two followed the man until they enter a dark studio. The man continued to walk until he stopped near a small bench. He told the two sit here and wait for a second. Just then, theme music began to play and the lights went on. Excel noticed three more groups to the left of her. The stages begin to split in two and a man came running through the middle.

"Welcome everybody!" the man said. "To The New-Age Newlywed Game." Excel's face just turned to fear from the word newlywed. Excel grabbed Hyatt and began to walk off stage. "This game allows couples to win five-million yen if they know each other well enough. This games also beats the old Newlywed game by having new couples, more questions, and even airing live; a new experiment in television." Excel's face lit up and she and Hyatt returned to their seat. Upon sitting down again, she wrapped her arm around Hyatt and gave her a little peck on the cheek, to show their temporary relation. The blonde noticed that she was a good actor when she blushed and dilated her eyes.

"Let's get a glimpse of the teams. Team 1…" Haruka Tenoh and Michiru Kaioh. "Team 2…" Utena Tenjou and Anthy Himemiya. "Team 3…" Randy Maclean and Dee Layther. "And team 4…" Excel and Hyatt. Team 4 was shown as a blonde girl cuddling a blue-haired girl on the shoulder, both complete with a smile. The host, the contestants, and the audience awed at this sight. "Team 4, why don't you tell us a little about yourselves."

Excel began to speak. "Well, we met about a year ago, and been close ever since. We enjoy being together and cuddling all the time. I also enjoy getting my partner on the bed and start to fu…"

Back at Room 203, the four watched Excel on television, complete with censors, uncanny remarks, and ignorance.

"_Those are our neighbors…_" Sumiyoshi stated. Watanabe watched with tears.

"Miss Ayasugi… it can't be…" Watanabe continued to watch with tears running down his face. Iwata watched on and uncensored Excel's rant in his mind. He then slowly walked towards the corner and… enjoyed himself. Matsuya watched Excel and Hyatt together.

"Wow, big surprise…" She said as she rolled her eyes.

"That… was… very interesting…" The host commented. "I'm getting word that you must leave now. We'll even give you a consolation prize. Just leave. Now!" Excel and Hyatt stood up from the seat walked off stage, with the camera following her every movement. A woman handed her a small, gift-wrapped present and pointed towards the door. Excel walked towards the door, but turned around before exiting. She gave the camera a thumbs-up, something that confused the audience. Excel noted what she did and replaced her thumb with her middle finger, something the censors could not catch. She and Hyatt presumed to leave the studio then the building. "Now I know why game shows aren't live…" The host learned the hard way.

On their way home, Hyatt held the gift they received in her arms. "It was fun being on all those game shows; wasn't it, Senior?" Excel held her head towards the ground, knowing she could not make her Il Palazzo happy.

"It was okay, I guess…" A depressed Excel said.

"Don't worry, when we get home, I'll cheer you up." Hyatt said with a smile on her face. Upon reaching the apartment, the three boys from Room 203 peeped out their door. They watched as Excel and Hyatt came towards the building, walked up the stairs, and entered they apartment. Inside, Hyatt placed the prize on the table and went into the kitchen to make some tea. Excel sighed and walked over to the prize. She opened it slowly and took out the item; a small box. She opened it, and soft, calm, beautiful music came from it. The music really touched Excel, as she could not support herself. She sat down on the floor and listened to the tune.

Hyatt heard this music and walked into the living-room where Excel was. She saw her sitting down and went to sit next to her. Hyatt noticed the traced state her senior was in and decided to hold her hand. The touch of Hyatt woke Excel from her trance; she turned her head and saw a smiling Hyatt. Excel smiled back and rested her head on Ha-chan's shoulders, listened to the music, and for once did not have Lord Il Palazzo on her mind.


End file.
